limited intimacy

Poor A., (is he poor?), has been raised in an almost exclusively, majority non-Christian culture, but encountered Jesus Christ, and put his faith in him. He has identified as a Christian, and has learned about the teachings of the Bible from encounters with a missionary and Christian radio broadcasts and from an itinerant pastor who comes to his village periodically. He is poor in so many ways, but the inheritance he has in Christ makes him wealthy in so many other ways. One of A.'s big limitations is his marriage prospects. The first hurdle is that most fathers in village will not let their daughters marry an apostate, someone who no longer worships as everyone else does. The second hurdle is that even those who might be willing to overlook his beliefs cannot provide him with a wife who is also a believer in Jesus Christ. He is a healthy young man, with the normal production of hormones, and desire for companionship and children. He struggles with his passions and obligations to his parents and his village and his faith. Somehow he has learned God's teaching through Paul, that he should not marry someone outside of the faith, 2 Corinthians 6:15, but he also has hope from something Jesus taught, in response to Peter,

28 Then Peter began to mention all that he and the other disciples had left behind. "We've given up everything to follow you," he said.

29 And Jesus replied, "I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News,

30will receive now in return, a hundred times over, houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property -- with persecutions. And in the world to come they will have eternal life. Mark 10 (NLT)

Even if he never marries, he still has eternal life. As far as he can tell, God has not provided a way out. One day he encounters another missionary, and they end up having a conversation like long lost brothers. When A. shares his dilemma and frustration, the missionary wants to encourage him. A. becomes despondent as he shares God's lack of provision in this area of his life. A.'s family wants him to marry. A. wants to marry. A. wants to have children. A. wants intimacy, and God's word has limited his options to no one.

The missionary wants his friend happy. He does not want his friend's faith bent to the breaking point. He knows God wants him happy. He knows God likes marriage and families and children. He also can't imagine why God won't provide this brother with a wife. So he offers to pray for A. and ask God everyday for A. to have a wife.

The big question is what is the way God wants A. to live until he provides a wife? Here are two longer explanations of A's dilemma, from Got Questions and Bill Craig. Even a more progressive believer, John Shore agrees without resorting to scriptural limits that it's a bad idea to marry an unbeliever. But A.'s neighbors use A.'s singleness as an argument against his faith in Jesus. They ask him what kind of God would forbid marriage, and an obligation to the family and community to carry on their heritage. They say, it's obvious you are made for marriage and family, as everyone is in our town. What kind demon do you serve? Your new God makes you poor and demands a miserable life. But A. holds onto Jesus's promise to Peter in Mark 10, which he repeated in Matthew 19:27-30. He does not know if he can remain faithful, when he doesn't understand God's reasons for the command to not partner with an unbeliever, when his own body tries to overpower his will, when his own friends, neighbors and family put so much pressure on him to conform.

As he prays and seeks God in his struggle, he looks again at Matthew 19 and verse 26 catches his eye. Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." So he asks God to make it possible, every morning when he wakes and every evening when he goes to sleep. He asks God to make it possible for him to remain obedient when his friends interrogate him and seek to make him doubt.

If A. never marries, does that make God a monster? Was God wrong? Was the traditional understanding against interfaith marriage not applicable to him? Does this man's commitment to abstinence without resolution make him a fool? What if he remains poor in intimacy his entire life, even though, like almost every human, he is wired for intimacy. Did God's limits on his intimacy diminish God?

I would think people would respect the self-control that God empowered A. with. I would think the display of God's power in A.'s life would result in an awe of God and a respect for the depths that the faith in Him penetrates into the soul of that believer.

Some believers in our own culture counsel others to choose their own satisfaction instead of a death to themselves. They teach, God doesn't care anymore... It's not even a sin anymore, because God changed his mind... The boundaries God places on intimacy only apply if you can do it... Some things just aren't possible, even for God, like chastity or fidelity. But they seem to disagree with Jesus, who founded the very religion they claim to follow. If God calls something evil, what else can his follower call it?

I read an anecdote today of someone who was told their source of intimacy was sinful, and was removed from a leadership position, which resulted in that person's despair and full embrace of that sin, instead of repentance. Eventually, that person died, in separation from his church and family. I have no way to know if he died separated from his Savior. I don't know if the church is ever rebukes someone about their sin well. It's a bunch of broken humans trying (and pretending) to worship a gracious God together. God raises the stakes on the sins of intimacy, calling them the only sins against our own bodies. 1 Corinthians 6

17 But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.

18 Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

19 Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,

20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

When those sins become public, it seems a serious response is necessary. If the believer won't repent, then they need to be treated as someone in need of the gospel again, not left in positions of authority and leadership. The question is, has God really said these things, Genesis 3:1. It's a fair question, but it seems a simple answer. Should any arguments about modern times or God's fairness or God's intent or God's compassion negate what God actually says? Can God be trusted? If so, can't his limits be trusted as well? Might he really know best?