when I was a child
I'm still earnest and ignorant. I earnestly believe I'm more aware of my ignorance in my middle age.
I can understand why fundamentalist Christianity appealed to my earnest desire to proclaim facts, distinguishing them from fantasy in my budding scientific mind. Four spiritual laws. Ten commandments. The Fundamentals. The Chicago Statement on Inerrancy. Creation science. For every question or doubt, a verse, a proof text will answer. Nuance, mystery, and heart knowledge, all childlike was no longer needed. I thought like an adult.
But I was earnest and ignorant.
I am a humbled adult now. I'm humbled by the complexity of the physical world. As a scientist working in the same area of research for over a decade, the answers keep coming up incomplete. I'm also humbled by the complexity of my faith. Christianity is old and diverse. It's closet is full of skeletons and treasures. I have a single lodestar to help me navigate the faith, God is love.
This assertion is enough for the rest of my earnest and ignorant life.