call him Master! what?

a horrific story from 20/20 about domestic violence and the years long spiral of abuse and the last straw till she escaped. the worst part is the video the father insisted the son film while he abused her for an hour, which she eventually used in his criminal case, which ended up in his sentence of 36 years. her co-workers heard her call him "master" on the phone.

1 peter 3 refers to this practice of Sarah, but what is the context?

The Example of Holy Women of Old (3:5-6) Bible.org

5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. 6 Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.⁹³

A “gentle and quiet spirit” is totally the opposite of the spirit of the contentious wife of Proverbs (see Proverbs 21:9, 19). The spirit or disposition which underlies submission is of crucial importance. Peter turns our attention to the “holy women of old,” not to remind us of how they dressed but to point to their submissive spirit, their source of true beauty. Notice these women were submissive to their “own” husbands, not because their trust was in their husbands but because their hope was in God. They trusted God to work through their husbands and to work in spite of them. Their hope, like every Old Testament saint (see Hebrews 11), was not in this life but in the kingdom of God to come. Their hope was in God alone who would bring it to pass.

Sarah is the one woman Peter identifies by name. Quite frankly, I would never have picked Sarah for she always seemed to be a kind of feminine counterpart to Lot. As I read Genesis 16 and 21, I find Sarah a little hard to like. She, like Lot and every other saint, was not a perfect saint. But she did exemplify the submissive spirit of which Peter speaks.

Peter refers to Sarah calling Abraham “lord,” as recorded the one time in Genesis:

9 Then they said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “Behold, in the tent.” 10 And he said, “I will surely return to you at this time next year; and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door, which was behind him. 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; Sarah was past childbearing. 12 And Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” 13 And the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I indeed bear [a child,] when I am [so] old?’ 14 “Is anything too difficult for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, at this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” 15 Sarah denied [it] however, saying, “I did not laugh”; for she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you did laugh” (Genesis 18:9-15).

Sarah may have called Abraham lord at other times, but this instance is especially noteworthy. Peter has been contrasting inner beauty with outer adornment and the beauty of a “gentle and quiet spirit.” This passage in Genesis illustrates Sarah’s spirit.

The angels have come to Abraham’s camp and been invited to stay for a meal. They then announce to Abraham that at this time next year Sarah will have a son. Sarah seems to have been eavesdropping, for when she heard the prophecy of a son, she laughed to herself. The words recorded in Genesis 18:12 are the words Sarah thought to herself. She did not speak them aloud, although the Lord was aware that she laughed inwardly.

Most of us speak respectfully to someone’s face, even if hypocritically. But Sarah spoke to herself calling Abraham “lord,” indicating the way she really thought of him. In her mind, Abraham was not “the old man,” but her master, her lord. And she, as it were, was his servant. In her heart, she was submissive to her husband, which made her a beautiful woman and an example for all to follow.

Abraham is sometimes referred to as the “father” of those who believe in Jesus Christ, whether Jew or Gentile by birth (see Romans 4:11-12; Galatians 3:7, 16, 29; Hebrews 2:16). Here, Sarah is called the “mother” of all those women who walk in her footsteps and who respect and obey their husbands: “and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

If I understand the passage correctly, “without being frightened by any fear” parallels the earlier expression of a “gentle and quiet spirit.” Some Christian psychiatrists speak of the “typical hysterical female,” a characterization I am not certain I like. Peter talks about the godly Christian wife as being exactly the opposite. She is not hysterical or panic-stricken about the future,⁹⁴ for her hope is fixed on God. She calmly and quietly submits to her husband,⁹⁵ knowing God’s purposes will be achieved because of or in spite of her husband.

Can you imagine leaving your homeland, your family, and all of your friends to go to a place God has not even yet revealed (see Genesis 12:1-3)? How many times did Abraham come to his wife to tell her God had instructed him to do what appeared to be foolish? As far as I can tell, Sarah was never present when God gave Abraham his instructions (except this one time in Genesis 18). It could have been a most terrifying thing to have been married to Abraham and follow him without being frightened by any fear. But Sarah did submit to Abraham, first in her spirit, and then on a day-by-day basis.⁹⁶ For this, she became an example of godly submission to all of us.

there is a contrast in this very same passage though regarding husbands...
from Emotional Abuse and your Faith blog

1 Peter 3:7 You husbands, in like manner, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered.

The Author of this article has a different view of what some seem to target on when people speak of the weaker vessel.

So we’ll follow a little tangent before answering your question. Notice this verse’s context. Peter was urging Christian wives to recognize their husband’s headship. He encourages them to do so even if their husbands are unbelievers. In such circumstances, Christian wives weren’t to give in to the fear that their unbelieving husbands will abuse their headship. Left unspoken is the confidence Christian woman have that the Lord knows how to protect his own.

Peter now continues by urging Christian husbands to let no such sinful abuse of headship be found among us. Peter urges Christian husbands to be considerate as they live with their wives. Then comes the phrase we’ll discuss which lists one reason a Christian husband shows such consideration.

The verse above says that men and woman are CO-HEIRS to God's grace. Since women are equal in that way she should be treated with loving consideration. The verse also says if men ignore this fact that their prayers will be hendered. Pretty darn good reason to NOT abuse your headship wouldn't you say?

Peter closes by warning Christian husbands who may be tempted to ignore this encouragement. If we neglect such consideration, we don’t just damage our relationship with our wife. We damage our relationship with our God. We "hinder [our] prayers." If I live as an inconsiderate head towards my wife, I am asking my Head to treat me that same way! That’s enough to send all Christian husbands to Christ’s cross to confess our lack of consideration. Only there in forgiving grace do we find the power to treat our wives as the co-heirs of grace they truly are.

The author says that the husband's don't just damage their relationship with the wife, but they also damage their relationship with God. If I treat her "LESS THAN" I will be asking God to treat me as so! OUCH! The author is correct when mentioning its a pretty darn good reason to make sure you treat your spouse as God would have you treat them!

Why ask Christian husbands to be considerate toward their wives? As far as our bodies are concerned, the wife tends to be at a physical disadvantage. Peter appears to be warning Christian husbands not to abuse their physical strength so as to cause in "the weaker partner" the fear unbelieving husbands often cause. We don’t have to read too many headlines to understand this warning!

It seems the weaker vessel means the women's physical makeup, and it doesn't mean "weaker" in a derogatory manner as some attempt to spin that. It would make sense also! Why would God wish his co-heirs in Grace to be abused just because their physical strength is not there compared to man's? It doesn't mean women are LESS THAN, but made differently! Its says in scripture in many different places to help those in trouble, sick, hungry, and weak both in body and spirit! We are not to help them in this LOFTY way, as in we are BETTER, BIGGER, STRONGER than you! We are to be doing that because of consideration, respect, and love that God wishes us to show towards all! Why would God mean it differently towards wifes/women just because of their physical strength? I feel sorry for the men I hear out there speaking of this differently. Peter warned in this passage what happens to them. If people would feel the spirit of the words, instead of taking things so legalistically they would be much better off! I see so much talk of how woman are LESS THAN, and as we can see that meaning seems to have got a bit twisted!

The author ends by saying:

But I’ll finish by pleading with all who read this verse not to get "stuck" on its "weaker" part ("weaker" only by our mis-perception). As Christian men and women see the beauty of a passage that exalts us as "heirs together of God’s gracious gift of life."

in conclusion, abuse is not acceptable in the Christian marriage, neither physical or emotional and needs to be repented of and often needs intensive counseling, even more than what a pastor alone can provide. marriage is a picture of Jesus' love for his church. with that concept in mind, we see why Christian marriage vows are so intense. Jesus is the highest standard.