Things I learned in college, part 1

I spent my freshman year at a Christian college on the North Shore of Cape Cod. I wanted to pursue my biology studies under Christian professors and experience dorm life with Christians. Unfortunately for me, I was expecting Christian camp, not Christian college. I was disillusioned that the kids drank and smoke and swore and fooled around with their girlfriends. I didn’t drink or smoke there, but I was guilty of the other two. I expected an environment of exhortation and encouragement where people like me could stay on the higher path. The words were spoken, but for the most part, this Christian college had also abandoned for all intents and purposes the role of parent, technically called in loco parentis, see this article for an expansion of the concept especially in relation to sex in the dorms. To make matters worse, my excellent Ecology professor taught us about human evolution. I wouldn’t say he advocated it, but it wasn’t his job to discuss biblical interpretation. On top of this, I felt I was sequestered from the world. I came up through the normal public education system and had been surrounded by people who weren’t like me religiously, ethnically, scholastically, or economically. My Christian college was a straitjacket of all those except for a few of us who were poor and a few Africans.

By winter break I had sent in my application to UConn and was accepted before Spring Break. I reasoned I could get the same debauchery (with honesty and vigor) and evolutionary biology for a third of the price. I felt surrounded by Christian posers, it was an immature perspective, and I wanted to be around honest sinners. At least I could offer them Jesus.

I also figured, why not heap it on thick and requested the dorm at UConn with the most debauched reputation. It’s nickname? The Jungle. This is when the Guns-N-Roses song “Welcome to the Jungle” was very popular. Several students like to demonstrate their intelligence every fall by aiming their speakers into the Jungle’s quad and turning up the volume. Already, one could tell there was a diversity of scholasticism.