What I learned in college - Part 2

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Why date? I dated women inside and outside of the kingdom. If you aren't ready to marry anytime soon, just make friends with people. You will get to know women so much better if you aren't focused on the making a move on them. Whenever I jumped out of the dating pool, either by conviction from the Lord or from another broken heart and membership in the "He-man Woman Haters Club" I had friendships with women that were so normal. Raging hormones bring on a form of psychosis anyway so you never date the normal version of a person that you didn't know until a few months after you marry.

I met my wife on an IVCF missions trip to Jackson Mississippi where we served under John Perkins and his ministry, Voice of Calvary. We both thought each other attractive and made a casual friendship. I didn't see her again until our schools did joint meetings sporadically. When I did a Co-op 2 years later by her school I got to know her and all her friends. Yet attraction never became romance then either. When I graduated and went to work at the same business, but now as an employee and able to provide for a wife I then began to court her. When i thought I had convinced her to date me she made me read a book called Dating with Integrity by John Holzman, who, ironically, also provides our homeschool curriculum, Sonlight. I hated the book. But she wanted to protect her heart. The book described courtship while calling it dating and it ruled out kissing! I was traumatized. But I was sure this was the woman for me, until I broke up with her. It was a breakup though without any moral regrets. Needless to say, after a month we decided to try again and were engaged a month after that and married 6 months after that. We've been married 11 and a half years and have three children.

The woman I had to pursue and honor and cherish and treat as a sister in Christ's family was the woman I finally was allowed to treat as a wife after the wedding ceremony. All the women I "dated" got the wife treatment without a wedding. It came before the ceremony and ended in disaster. But the woman I treated as a sister got the wedding.

I never read Josh Harris's book, I kissed dating goodbye, but I'm sure its a challenging read. So it worked for me and Josh, what more proof do you need?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am so glad you commented about your experience in relating to a girl and how you handle the interaction. And that you Read Dating with Integrity by John HOlzmann and mention it on your blog. I was wanting to know how I could get in touch with John and let him know how the book helped me. And validated alot of things for me. I have heard Josh and yes they are the same in some ways which is good. They validated each other. You are so right it worked for you and Josh.. I wish I could hear more stories like yours.

Judith
KS
February 15, 2007
Anonymous said…
May I use your "What you learned in college?" story about what you experience regarding Dating and the book by John Holmann called "Dating with Integrity" and including in that comment mention how you and Joshua agree on the same thing-you both have the same experience even though Joshua wrote a book on his. You are the first to affirm and confirm that there is a true story of a person out there first hand for me to see that did it in result of reading John Holzmann book that it really works and that Joshua what he says which is really much the same of Dating with Integrity really works. And that What Joshua did which is the same thing you did really works. I want to share your story with people showing that it works. I am still single and so -I can't be proof yet.

I wrote you before this and so..Failed to ask you this.

jmsenglish@sbcglobal.net is my email address. you can reply and please do.

Judith
39
KS
February 15, 2007
John Umland said…
not a problem. i hope our story will bless others.
God is good
jpu
February 16, 2007
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