polite discourse and 1 Peter 3:15-16

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3:15 But set Christ apart as Lord in your hearts and always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks about the hope you possess. 16 Yet do it with courtesy and respect, keeping a good conscience, so that those who slander your good conduct in Christ may be put to shame when they accuse you.

i didn't really touch on this issue in my sermon last week. i fail at this. i know i'm not alone at this either, especially among Christian apologists, defenders, etc. one apologist with a radio show and books under his belt introduces his show by quoting this verse. except most of his opponents never seem to feel the courtesy and respect and malign him back. so how does one give an answer, especially when one is convinced it is "the"answer, with courtesy and respect? no matter what, the cross is offensive. Jesus divides. he told us he comes with a sword that will divide families. there is no need to add insult to the injury of the good news....
i need to give others the benefit of the doubt.
i need to be polite enough that we wouldn't avoid each other in public
i need to be polite enough that we could break bread together
i need to be as innocent as a dove while not forsaking the cunning of the snake. (Matt.10:6)

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