10C's #8: Stealing, part a
A popular song from my college days by Jane's Addiction was called Been Caught Stealing with these opening lyrics
I've been caught stealing;
once when I was 5...
I enjoy stealing.
It's just as simple as that.
Well, it's just a simple fact.
When I want something, and
I don't want to pay for it.
I walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey all right! If I get by, it's mine.
Mine all mine!
It sure was fun to sing along with even though I only knew a couple of the words. But songwriter Perry Farrell made the same observation of the 5th century Christian philosopher Augustine who reflected on his theft of pears. I quote a short summary from here.
Augustine’s Confessions deal primarily with his spiritual journey through which he gains reconciliation with God. Throughout his self-examination, Augustine struggles to know why he sinned and why he cannot overcome his desire to sin. We find that this passage wrestles with the motivation behind Augustine’s most pronounced sin: the theft of pears from a tree. What made this sin so conspicuous was the lack of an apparent reason, since Augustine neither wanted to eat the pears nor could he sell them, and after stealing them he simply threw them away. He conjectures that he stole the fruit to be able to steal and, thus, exercise some form of liberty. Indeed, by stealing the pears, Augustine was able to outwardly manifest the state of his heart which was in rebellion to God.
The thrill of the offense drove him.
Augustine’s Confessions, Book II, chapter 6, page 49.
What then was it that I loved in that theft of mine? In what way, awkwardly and perversely, did I imitate my Lord? Did I find it pleasant to break your law and prefer to break it by stealth, since I could not break it by any real power? And was I thus, though a prisoner, making a show of a kind of truncated liberty, doing unpunished what I was not allowed to do and so producing a darkened image of omnipotence? What a sight! A servant running away from his master and following a shadow! What rottenness! What monstrosity of life and what abyss of death! Could I enjoy what was forbidden for no other reason except that it was forbidden?
How much theft is out of necessity? I never shoplifted. I never had to make complicated moral justifications like Brad, a funny story. But I was guilty of a subtler thievery. Way back in 1991 I had a Co-op position at my current employer. At that time, the lab I was in all used Macs and I owned a Mac LC. I desired the fish tank screen saver for my home computer. Plenty of those discs were laying around and software theft back then was not discouraged. I rationalized. I took the disc. I installed the program at home. I returned the disc. There was no physical evidence, just 1's and 0's in a different order on my machine. My conscience (AKA the Holy Spirit) kept bothering me and I kept ignoring it/him. But my life of larceny was cut short at a prayer meeting. We met to intercede for the church but we started the meeting with personal confession and repentance. I was attending a Vineyard and was still appreciating charismatic gifts so I didn't know what to make of a woman in the group telling us that we couldn't move on until some more confession. I'm thinking, "What's this all about?" But I knew it was about me and my sin. In hindsight I would call her input a word of knowledge. After an eternity of awkward silence as we all bowed out heads I gave up and repented for such a stupid petty sin that was holding up our prayer meeting. It was stupid and petty because I was holding on to something stupid and petty. After my confession we moved forward with the prayer meeting. My rationalizations caved in under the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I was caught stealing.
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