Banterist - Shanghai Dispatch: Shanghai Surprise

The Banterist is more of the insanely funny ad copy blogger, but he comes through with an insanely funny travelogue. Just a few snips from one post, but there are many more posts to make you laugh out loud at your desk.

I thought China would be filled with grim-faced, machine-gun toting People's Army types with government agents shadowing me every step. That's very much not the case and either I was just misinformed and paranoid, or the government agents are very, very good.
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To say that the city is enormous is an understatement. It's filled to the brim with a vibrant and very pleasant population - most of whom live in giant apartment complexes, the likes of which I'd never seen before. No one seems to have a dryer. Laundry is everywhere, even thirty stories up.
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Noticed:

TOYS
I am tempted to purchase 'Baby Urinate' for the box alone.

BEGGARS
Beggars are aggressive and don't take bu shi for an answer. They are predominantly situated near tourist areas and usually limited to 'Hallo, money' or 'Thank you, money.'

VENDORS
Vendors are aggressive and don't take bu shi for an answer. They are predominantly situated near tourist areas and usually limited to 'Hallo, DVD' or 'Hallo, watches, bags.'

TOURS
Asian tour guides all use bullhorns to address their groups, turning any tourist spot into a cacophony of different dialects competing to tell you about the vase or tree you're looking at. A guide told me they don't use them for Western tourists because we're averse to having someone with a bullhorn talking to them from one foot away. Not so for the various Asian visitors who are perfectly content to have a 90 decibel lecture on the Qing dynasty delivered to their face. Even if the group numbers two, as I witnessed.